No one is perfect. I know, shocker right?!

We all have something or many things that annoy us about ourselves. Even the most popular, beautiful, talented, wealthy, intelligent, funny people are irritating pieces of shit to someone.

In the words of Dita Von Teese, ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.’

 Or said another way, ‘You can’t please all the people all the time.‘

So why do we try to hide our bad sides?

Why do we present the best versions of ourselves to the public, whilst only showing our bad sides to those closest to us?

I think it’s because we’re afraid. We’re afraid of confronting that negative side. We’re afraid of being unloved, rejected, hated or mocked.  We don’t want to confront that part of ourselves, so we hide it away.

When someone says ‘you know, sometimes you can be a real arsehole,’ we say ‘no I’m not, you are!’ ‘Or alternatively we go inside ourselves and hide away from the world and lick our wounds or self medicate with food or drugs or alcohol or cutting or whatever your vice is to numb your pain.

Some people don’t turn to a negative vice. They instead turn to exercise or television or sex to placate their inner child. They don’t want to feel vulnerable so instead they search for a feeling of power.

But what would happen if we turned that on its head? What would happen if we didn’t run away from our negative side or didn’t try to sooth ourselves and forget about that pain? What would happen if we just owned our shit?

I’ve recently started to do this.

Instead of running away from my negative aspects, I’ve started trying to investigate and explore healing myself. This means being vulnerable in a way that I never have before.

Whilst on maternity leave, I realised that I would be super mega bored if I didn’t put some good things into my brain. So instead of sitting there with my newborn baby and watching TV for hours on end while breastfeeding, I downloaded Audible and every time I was confronted by some aspect of myself that I didn’t like, I would download an audio book on the topic and let the experts break it down.

I have a lot of audio books now. I’m trying to be a better person, so when I realise I have anger management issues, I get myself a shiny new book. Co-dependency issues? A new book.  Struggling with emotional eating? Two new books. Marriage failing? I got me a bookie book.

But you have to listen to them. You have to make time for personal growth. It doesn’t just happen because you get a new book. It happens because you listen to the experts and do the work.

Pish posh, work! I am too busy! I don’t have time! The thing is, if you have time for TV, or driving, or exercising or breastfeeding or cooking or pretty much anything, you can shove in some headphones and listen your way to a better place.

But that’s just one way to own your shit.

I am owning my shit by simply not running away when someone or something confronts me. I am trying to be open emotionally. Trying to be ok with being vulnerable. I’m trying to find my centre, take some deep breaths, calm the fuck down and just listen.

Life doesn’t have to be so hard. There are clues all over the place that will let you know when it’s time to do some inner work.

I see a psychologist too. It’s important for my mental health. If you’re struggling, I recommend starting there. It will help with your mental and emotional fortitude. It will make you more resilient. As long as you let the process unfold.

Stop running away from the shit. Pick it up. Acknowledge that it stinks. Poke around in there and spew a few times if that’s what comes naturally. Cry about it if you need a release.

Crying is a great release, highly underestimated for its ability to heal. But don’t cry to manipulate. That there is just some more shit to sort through. Cry to let it go or because it’s too big a burden to carry around.

I promise, owning your shit is cathartic. It will heal you to stand up and say ‘yes, I can be an arsehole at times, but I’m working on it.’ And then fucking work on it.

Apologise to people when you act like an arsehole. Ask them how you can make it better. And then don’t do that arsey thing again. My four year old daughter learned this lesson by watching Daniel Tiger.

Owning your shit will help bring peace to your soul. It will move you through some emotional blockages and help you step up in accountability.

If you’re needy, own it.

If you’re angry, own it.

If you’re mean, own it.

If you’re lonely or miserly, or desperate or broke or jealous, or kinda stupid, own it.

That doesn’t mean be proud of these things. It doesn’t mean accept yourself as a prick and just keep being a prick. It means accept that you have been a prick, and try to make amends. Grow through that thing that makes you act prickey. Come out the other end a nicer, more loving person.  Learn what you need to. Fill the gaps in your knowledge. Commit to yourself and advancing your evolution.

I apologise, this blog is meant to be about successfully failing at life, but if you follow this advice, you may end up succeeding. But don’t get your hopes up. Just go with it. Test yourself. You may fail at it a few times, and that’s ok.  Because remember the #1 rule… EVERYONE FAILS!

What’s the worst that could happen? You change your life and it feels a bit uncomfortable for awhile?

A snake has to shed its skin to become the next great version of itself. We too, must shed our skin, over and over again, to be the person we’re meant to grow into.

If you don’t, you end up stuck and unfulfilled.

So, what can you take ownership of today?